Stealthing

How can SASH support you?

SASH can provide you with mental health support, and can also work with other organisations that can help you with aftercare, as well as navigating any legal proceedings should you decide to press charges.

What is stealthing?

Stealthing is the term used to describe non-consensual condom removal.  This happens when both/multiple parties agree to protected sex and during the event, one party removes the condom without the other party’s knowledge or consent, or they lie about putting a condom on in the first place. 

Why does stealthing happen?

There are many reasons as to why someone might do this, none of which are valid or warranted in anyway.
In some cases, the 'stealther' intentionally wants to deprive the targeted individual of their control over their body and/or reproductive choices. Stealthing can also be a form of exerting power and control over the 'stealthee'.
Another reason someone might commit stealthing is due to the belief that sex feels better without the use of condoms, which is not acceptable.

What is the impact of stealthing?

Stealthing removes the excitement from sex as it removes a person's ability and right to choose to consent. The result of doing it breaks trust and victims are left with devastating effects on their mental and physical health. Stealthing also places them at significant risk for STIs (sexually transmitted infections) and unplanned pregnancies. Sometimes it also induces a sense of self-blame, low self-esteem and difficulties in relationships.  

Stealthing and partner control

The act of stealthing is a form of partner control, and can be something experienced both in and not in a relationship. If experienced within a relationship, the relationship would be classed as toxic and abusive. Being in a relationship does not equal consent in regards to any form of sexual activity. If someone does not have your consent to do something, then they are not to do it.

Is stealthing a crime?

Stealthing is classified as rape under English and Welsh law, and is punished as such.

I think I might be a victim of stealthing, what should I do?

Stealthing is a criminal offence and violates your consent, so should be reported to the police. 

At SASH, we can provide support and advice but also put you in contact with other services and organisations who can help you with legal proceedings and aftercare.