How can SASH support you?
SASH can provide you with advice and information on understanding consent, as well as navigating different types of relationships and knowing what a healthy relationship looks like.
What is consent?
Consent is a voluntary, enthusiastic, and mutual agreement between individuals to engage in sexual activity. It involves clear communication, usually verbal, and the active participation of all parties involved.
Consent must be freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic, and specific to each sexual activity.
Being informed
If you aren't fully aware of something, or your partner hides something from you during sexual activity, this means you were not able to give valid consent since you were not properly informed. This could involve something like Stealthing, where your partner removed the condom during sexual activity without your knowledge, and therefore without your consent.
Consent in relationships
Being in a relationship does not equal consent.
Regardless of the type of relationship you are in, consent is specific to each sexual activity and doesn't imply consent for anything else. You and your partner(s) should always understand and be aware of the sexual activity being agreed to, including any potential risks and consequences.
Why is consent important?
Consent is a fundamental aspect of all healthy and respectful relationships, romantic and sexual interactions.
It doesn't matter if you're engaging in a one night stand, in a 'situationship', casually dating or are legally together; having consent is essential for preventing sexual abuse, coercion, and exploitation. It is the responsibility of each individual to ensure that they have obtained clear and ongoing consent from their partner(s) before engaging in any sexual activity.
FAQs
If I gave consent but have changed my mind, can I stop?
Consent can be withdrawn at any time during sexual activity. Even if consent was given initially, anyone has the right to change their mind and stop at any point, with or without a reason.
Is it okay for someone to make me feel guilty for not consenting?
Guilt-tripping someone is a form of manipulation, which is coercive, unethical and unhealthy behaviour, and definitely not okay. If you have tried to communicating with them about why they have reacted like that to you removing your consent without reaching an understanding, you should consider if you are in a safe situation and try to remove yourself from it.
Can someone give consent if they're drunk or high?
Consent cannot be given if the person is incapacitated due to drugs, alcohol, or any other reason (such as being spiked). When under the influence, it affects your capacity and ability to properly understand the situation, so you're unable to properly comprehend what is being asked of you. Consent requires the active participation and agreement of all parties involved.
Is consent only relevant when face-to-face?
Consent is valid anywhere and everywhere, offline and online, in person and long distance. This includes situations such as sending intimate images or videos via digital messaging, consent should be given by both parties involved before anything is shared. Showing or sending your intimate images and videos to another person, or posting them online without your consent is a crime. If someone threats to do this, it is called Revenge Porn, which is illegal.
My partner consented to sex, but then fell asleep, do I stop?
To quote the infamous Tea and Consent video, if someone said yes to tea, started drinking it and then passed out before they finished it, would you pour it down their throat because they said yes when they were awake? No, because unconscious people don't want tea. The same applies with sex, no ifs or buts. What you should do is make sure they are able to sleep safe and comfortably.
At SASH, we provide free confidential counselling and coaching sessions to improve your emotional well-being and understanding of consent and relationship boundaries.
Want to learn more about consent and relationships?
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Discover how SASH can support understanding different types of relationships, setting boundaries, and managing emotional wellbeing and challenges effectively.
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SASH provides compassionate support to those affected by sexual assault, offering guidance for mental health, aftercare, and navigating legal proceedings.
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Revenge porn is the non-consensual sharing of explicit imagery to humiliate or harm, punishable under UK law. We'll help you seek support and legal advice.
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Stealthing, the non-consensual removal of condoms, violates consent and has serious impacts. SASH provides support, links to aftercare and legal services.
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SASH offers advice and support on spiking, including aftercare and legal guidance. Learn how to protect yourself and others from this crime.
