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What is reproductive abuse and coercion?
Reproductive abuse is a form of abuse that involves your partner controlling your reproductive choices, whether this is to prevent or promote pregnancy. This is sometimes called ‘reproductive coercion’ where people will try and manipulate or persuade someone by using threats or force.
Denying someone of their bodily autonomy is sexual abuse and a serious issue. Research has shown that reproductive abuse ranges from 8% to 30% depending on the sample and setting. One of the most recent BMJ reports have stated that 1 in 4 women at sexual health clinics have experienced reproductive coercion once in their lives. Experiencing reproductive abuse can have life-altering effects to someone’s sexual and mental health and it is a topic that is not discussed enough despite it affecting so many people.
Reproductive abuse can take place in three forms:
- Contraceptive sabotage
- Pregnancy coercion
- Controlling the outcome of a pregnancy
Examples of reproductive abuse and coercion:
- Hiding or destroying someone’s contraception
- Lying about using a contraceptive method, such as lying about having a vasectomy or not taking your birth control pill
- Sabotaging someone’s birth control, such as replacing their contraceptive pills with sugar tablets
- Poking holes in a condom
- Withholding money to prevent someone from buying contraception
- Being pressured or forced to have sex with someone
- Intentionally exposing someone at risk of getting an STI (sexually transmitted infection)
- Removing a condom before having penetrative sex with someone, or intentionally not telling someone that they have not used a condom before penetrative sex. This is also known as stealthing
- Forced termination of pregnancy
- Pressure to conceive or continue a pregnancy till term
Be Mindful of Language and Phrases
Your sexual partner may use certain phrases that could be considered coercive, manipulative or controlling. Having an open conversation with your partner about your contraception and pleasure for sex is important, however, if they are doing or saying any of the following phrases, please be mindful for your mental health and wellbeing.
- “Sex would feel better if we did it without a condom”
- “Condoms make me lose my erection”
- “Wouldn’t sex feel better if you were on the pill?”
- “I don’t know if our relationship will survive if we have this baby”
- "If you don’t have this baby, it means you don’t love me”
- “I’ll leave you if you have this baby”
- “Sorry, I got carried away with the moment and didn’t feel like stopping”
- “It’s fine, we can just get the morning after pill!”
- “I don’t really want to be with someone who wants to use a condom”
- “We’ll have to break up if you don’t go on the pill”
What to do if you suspect your partner is trying to control your reproductive health?
There are several things you can do to take control of your reproductive health. Firstly, you can go to a sexual health clinic for advice and support. There they might advise the following:
- Have a sexual health screening – get tested for different STIs.
- Take a pregnancy test if you recently had unprotected sex.
- Get your own condoms or contraception, rather than allowing your partner to get it.
- Keep your contraception and condoms hidden.
- Inspect your contraception and condoms to make sure it hasn’t been tampered with.
- Switching to a form of contraception that your partner can’t sabotage, such as the arm implant, IUS, IUD or vasectomy.
Dealing with sexual trauma and abuse on your own is a terrifying experience. No one should ever feel as if their partner or their family is trying to control their reproductive health. It is and will always be your body, and therefore, your choice.
Support
If you ever feel as if your reproductive health or choice has been controlled or taken from you, please get in touch with SASH’s services. We are here to offer support and advice around your sexual and mental health.
References
Tarzia, L. and Hegarty, K. (2021). A conceptual re-evaluation of reproductive coercion: centring intent, fear and control. Reproductive health, 18:87, pp.1-10.
Rowlands, S. and Walker, S. (2019). Reproductive Control by Others: Means, Perpetrators and Effects. BMJ Sex Reproductive Health, 45, pp.61-67.